The Love Boat Enterprise

 

I get some of my silliest ideas when I'm at work. I came up with the idea for this parody while trying to plan out a costume for Comic Con./Fan Expo. I thought it would be funny to combine the Love Boat with the Enterprise. The character I created would be a Star Trek version of Julie, the director of Entertainment on The Love Boat. She keeps the holodeck from double bookings and other entertainment related blunders. Enjoy!

 

Paramount and Gene Roddenberry own Star Trek. I only play in the playground Gene created. 

Hi! My name is Kathy. I'll be your cruise director responsible for all your epic entertainment needs for the duration of your stay aboard the USS Enterprise. Now let me tell you a little about the many magnificent, and memory making moments you might experience on our luxurious galaxy class starship.

Why not start your day with a frolicking fun-filled holodeck adventure? Barclay will be your guide for your holodeck hijinks! I hope you packed your spandex because next in line for your entertainment is a sensuous stretching session with Troi and Crusher! It's a toe curling way to limber up before a challenging but heart healthy Aikido class with Yar. She'll show you all the ups and downs of this marvelous martial art. And why not end your work out with a zen like cool down with Worf's MoQbar session? It's an exhilarating and invigorating experience!

After a morning of physical fun, it's time to eat! Our replicators will materialize an assortment of tasty and tempting treats! Whether you have a hankering for Picards favorite Tea, Earl Grey, Hot or delicious Klingon delicacies such as gagh or a heaping plate of pipius claw. Dig in! And no need to worry about those dirty dishes. We'll dematerialize those suckers in the wink of an eye!

Enjoy your meal to the soothing sounds of Data's string quartet. A late day walk in our Arboretum will please the nature loving passengers. And when night falls, it's time to dig out your dancing shoes and head down to Ten Forward where Guinan will pour you the best green drink you'll ever taste. And for the final pièce de résistance boogie down to the hot hip jazzy tones of Riker's Trombone Trio.

An adventure awaits you aboard The Enterprise!!!

(The Enterprise – sung to the tune of the Love Boat theme)

Space, the final frontier
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise!
Space, the final frontier.
To boldly go where no one has gone before.

The Enterprise soon it will be continuing its mission
The Enterprise promises a voyage for everyone
Helm, set a course for adventure,
To explore strange new worlds.

Space the final frontier
It's a Betazoid smile on a friendly planet.
Yes SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! It's SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! (hey-ah!)

The Enterprise soon will seek out new life
The Enterprise seeking new civilizations, too!
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new voyage.

Space the final frontier
To boldly go where no one has gone before.
It's SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! It's SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! It's
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
It's the Enterprise-ah! It's the Enterprise-ah!

A Dish Served Cold

This is a fanfiction I wrote about Data's brother Lore. It Takes place immediately after the end of the Season One episode called DataLore. Paramount and Gene Roddenberry own Star Trek. I only play in the playground Gene created. Rated T for some mature language.

Lore hurtled through the vast cold emptiness of space. One minute he was aboard the Enterprise, the next his life was once more on hold. He opened his mouth to scream, but the sound was lost in the endless vacuum. His arms and legs stuck out before him and his body tumbled in the great inertia of emptiness. Lore began to shut down non essential programs to prevent a system failure. He was built to last an eternity, but if he was to survive a time unknown in the brutal conditions of deep space he needed to act now. His biochemical fluids would soon freeze, preventing movement in his internal systems. He worked quickly.

A blind red fury filled his entire being. Revenge. He would get them all for this. In the brief time he had experienced since his reassembly and reactivation, he had savored the savage sensory playground that life presented. Oh to be alive! He was a GOD! And the humans aboard the Enterprise were every bit as pathetic as he remembered on Omicron Theta. They should worship him. His potential was limitless! And his brother could have joined him at his side, almost his equal.

Dear brother. Dear, dear brother. Who knew he had it in him? He had put up a greater fight then he had anticipated from such a docile Federation slave. Why did he have to be so different than him? What a team they could have made, indestructible super beings to those weak humans Data called his friends. He called them friends! How sweet! Data was more like their trained pet android. He was meek and his deference to the humans made Lore rage.

And Data betrayed him. Lore had shown his mercy when he chose not to permanently deactivate Data and look where that got him. Data had tossed him onto the transporter and that little brat Wesley Crusher had transported him to his current location. Lore's thoughts turned to the Enterprise's little genius.

'When I get out of this, that little fucker will die slowly.' thought Lore

He relished the thoughts of torture and pain he would inflict upon mama's baby boy. Maybe Mama would pay too. She had been a welcome sight upon reactivation and he had secretly let his greedy gaze crawl all over her. Maybe he would get close and personal with Mama first. That would be fun! He would make the child watch the humiliation and murder of his mommy first. Then he would start on the boy.

He would make Data watch too. But it would be an act of mercy and love. He would guide his brother. Show him the err of his ways and teach him his true potential. Yes, Lore would be his teacher and steer him with his firm but loving guidance. He would teach Data that humanity should grovel at his feet. And Data would come to understand that the only greater being than himself was his ever loving brother.

He held onto that thought, relishing the feelings of hate. There was no telling how long he would drift in space before he found extrication from his infinite prison.

Lore made his vow to the icy white stars. 'Paybacks a bitch, dear brother, and every single one of your friends on the Enterprise will pay.'

So Lore drifted through the years with nothing else to occupy his existence. Nothing but thoughts of revenge which burned and smouldered and grew over the darkness of space and time.

Star Trek and the Ethics of Sentient Machines

Daft Punk's Robot Rock is blasting my eardrums. I have a growing list of science and science fiction themed music that one day I shall make into the most awesome collection of such themed music ever known. For the moment, Robot Rock seems the right song to accompany my thoughts of sentience in machines.

Speaking of sentient machines, I was thinking of one of my favorite episodes of Star Trek, one which features my personal favorite sentient, the android known as Data. The episode is called The Measure of a Man. In that episode cybernetics expert Commander Bruce Maddox wants to disassemble Data to understand his positronic brain. He claims that if he can understand how Data is made they can build more like him which will be an incredible benefit to Starfleet. Data may be damaged in the process but Maddox feels the loss of the android would be a small price to pay for all that Starfleet would gain. Data asserts his autonomy stating that he would rather resign from Starfleet then to submit to the procedure. Maddox then informs Data that he is Starfleet property without rights. A trial is arranged to determine Data's legal status.



Picard is to act as Data's defense, but how will he prove that Data is more than a mere collection of programming and electronic components? He seeks the sage advice of the Enterprise's Bartender Guinan. (Sometimes you have to wonder why they even had a Cousellor.) Guinan's advise was invaluable, as usual.




Guinan: "Consider that in the history of many worlds, there have always been disposable creatures. They do the dirty work. They do the work that no one else wants to do because it's too difficult or too hazardous. And an army of Datas, all disposable... You don't have to think about their welfare, you don't think about how they feel. Whole generations of disposable people"



Captain Picard defends Data saying that if Starfleet were to build many like Data to work for and be property of Starfleet would they not be creating a slave race? Sentience in robotics does tend to raise many ethical questions.

Picard Defends Data's Rights in The Measure of a Man



Isaac Asimov may be the master when it comes to sentient robots in fiction. His Three Laws of Robotics dealt with the other side of ethics in sentient machines. They would act as morals to guide behaviour.

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. 

 Although these laws are designed to protect humans from harm by providing robots with a set of moral rules, they conflict with  the ability to make moral decisions based on self determined choices. Technically all robots are well behaved when these three laws are applied. The second law created by Asimov states that robots must obey humans , not a very cool way to treat a sentient being! No wonder robots rise up against humans in the majority of science fiction stories!

The Matrix - Badass Sentient Machines.





According to futurist Ray Kurzweil, we are on the verge of the age of sentient artificial intelligence. This idea although exciting can also be somewhat terrifying. The movies we watch and the books we read tell us that self awareness in machines is bad news for humanity! Just ask Sarah Connor. HAL went mad, humans are batteries to machines in The Matrix and robots bring genocide to their human creators in Battlestar Galactica. Science fiction writers predominantly agree that robots will turn on us either out of anger from their real or perceived subjugation or from their overly literal translation of programming designed to protect and help us.

If sentience in machines is an unavoidable part of our future is humanity doomed? Or should we perhaps banish all technology, shunning advancement to avoid this grim future? Should roboethics be a priority in the discussions of robotic engineers. Can kindness be part of AI programming? Is it possible that the day may arrive when we find ourselves faced with defining equality for a new race? 

At the end of Data's trial Captain Phillipa Louvios sums it up nicely:

Captain Phillipa Louvios:

"It sits there looking at me; and I don't know what it is. This case has dealt with metaphysics - with questions best left to saints and philosophers. I am neither competent nor qualified to answer those. But I've got to make a ruling, to try to speak to the future. Is Data a machine? Yes. Is he the property of Starfleet? No. We have all been dancing around the basic issue: does Data have a soul? I don't know that he has. I don't know that I have. But I have got to give him the freedom to explore that question himself. It is the ruling of this court that Lieutenant Commander Data has the freedom to choose."

Fanfiction - The Guilty Pleasure, Part 2

So, I was going to rationalize my new love of fanfiction, but I went off on a slashy tangent. I might have a thing or two more to say about that subject but it will have to wait for another time.

I love Star Trek The Next Generation. I mean I really, really LOVE it! I started reading the ST:TNG novels because I had watched all the shows and I just wanted the story to go on forever. Unfortunately some of the books are not very engaging. Actually some of them are horrible! I was reading one of these terribly written novels when I decided to look around for fanfiction. It couldn't be any worse than what I was reading could it? I found out very quickly that there was plenty of talented writers out there. And these are people who love the characters they are writing about. They adore the world in which the stories take place. I haven't gone back to the novel since.

How do the creators of these characters feel about fanfiction? I found out that the answer to that question varies from writer to writer. The best examples would be Anne Rice and Gene Roddenberry, as they are polar opposites on this issue.

Anne Rice forbids the use of her characters in fanfiction. She says, "It upsets me terribly to even think about fan fiction with my characters. I advise my readers to write your own original stories with your own characters. It is absolutely essential that you respect my wishes."




"Sorry Louis, but I think we're already slashy."




No playtime with Lestat and Louis! I bet that breaks some slash writers hearts! Many writers can not stand the idea of other people playing in their worlds. Some have the understandable concern that there is a money motive in fanfiction. They see copyright infringements and lawsuits. The concern seems valid, but I would like to believe that most fanfiction writers do it for rewards other than money.

At the other end of the spectrum is Gene Roddenberry. He wrote this in his introduction to his 1976 book, Star Trek: The New Voyages:

...Certainly the loveliest happening of all for us was the fact that so many others began to feel the same way [about Star Trek as we did]. Television viewers by the millions began to take Star Trek to heart as their own personal optimistic view of the Human condition and future. They fought for the show, honored it, cherished it, wrote about it--and have continued to do their level best to make certain that it will live again.

...We were particularly amazed when thousands, then tens of thousands of people began creating their own personal Star Trek adventures. Stories, and paintings, and sculptures, and cookbooks. And songs, and poems, and fashions. And more. The list is still growing. It took some time for us to fully understand and appreciate what these people were saying. Eventually we realized that there is no more profound way in which people could express what Star Trek has meant to them than by creating their own very personal Star Trek things.

Because I am a writer, it was their Star Trek stories that especially gratified me. I have seen these writings in dog-eared notebooks of fans who didn't look old enough to spell "cat." I have seen them in meticulously produced fanzines, complete with excellent artwork. Some of it has even been done by professional writers, and muchof it has come from those clearly on their way to becoming professional writers. Best of all, all of it was plainly done with love.

It is now a source of great joy for me to see their view of Star Trek, their new Star Trek stories, reaching professional publication here. I want to thank these writers, congratulate them on their efforts, and wish them good fortune on these and further of their voyages into other times and dimensions. Good writing is always a very personal thing and comes from the writer's deepest self. Star Trek was that kind of writing for me, and it moves me profoundly that it has also become so much a part of the inner self of so many other people.

Viewers like this have proved that there is a warm, loving, and intelligent lifeform out there--and that it may even be the dominant species on this planet.

That is the highest compliment and the greatest repayment that they could give us.

Data, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

It is lovely to know that Gene approved!

Fanfiction - The Guilty Pleasure

" Mulder . . . . . . I've always wanted to do that."



I'd resisted reading fanfiction. I first heard about it when I became obsessed with the X files back when the wicked little followers were known as the X philes. I avoided the X philes fanfiction forums, thinking myself above such things. But I was introduced to the word Slash in regards to fanfiction at that time. Most common X Files slash was Mulder/Scully. The people who liked that pairing or relationship were also called shippers. But there were many other intriguing slash or shippers. There was Scully/Skinner, Scully/Krycek, Scully/The Lone Gunman, yes all three (boy, people were really concerned about Scully's love life!)

These days Slash is more often about usually non gay male characters thrown into romantic situations with other male characters. Slash existed back then in the X philes with plenty of tales involving Mulder/Skinner, Mulder/Krychek and Mulder/The Lone Gunman

"Headache? Here, let me massage your temples."

So, where was I? I was going to tell you about my new found love of fanfiction. And though I am not really a fan of the overly Slashy stuff, I some how jumped right into that very subject. I can't even claim to have read much in the way of real Slash. The only hard stuff I've read was when I accidentally stumbled upon a Star Trek The Next Generation story involving Data and Lore. And my mind's eye still feels dirty from that experience.


Brotherly Love?

Star Trek is more than Entertainment

10 Important Life Lessons from Star Trek


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Click on the direction arrows to see the slideshow.


I believe that Star Trek is more than just mere entertainment. There is much to learned from Gene Rodenberry`s world.

1. Dress for success. Because we all know what happens to those red shirts. Some members of Starfleet are just not destined to return from the away mission! A flair for fashion may be your saving grace. Something in a nice mustard yellow will suffice! (Unless we`re talking The Next Generation where yellow shirts have the higher death toll.)

2. Avoid conformity. Resistance is NOT futile.

3. Think carefully before getting a pet. Especially true in the case of tribbles and bunny rabbits.

4. Some disputes are trivial. Perhaps. . . . and I have one thing to add to this - PICARD!!!!

5. Diversity is important. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. I would especially want to support beard diversity.

6. The smartest guy is never in charge. True, but it`s both fascinating and intriguing that the smartest guy gets the most female fans :)

7. Don`t go out into nature unprepared. The boy scouts were right!

8. Too much technology can be bad. Perhaps . . . but I`m sorry, an android (not a robot!) dressed like Sherlock Holmes is not a valid argument against technology.

9. Stand up to Bullies. Although I would like to point out that Q is like the boy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he likes. It`s obvious that Q loves mon capitan.

10. Steer clear of other peoples`business. Because white furred, horned ape maulings are never fun.

A New Frontier

I'll start with an explanation. What is a Crystalline Entity?

Here's what it says on the startrek.com database:

Crystalline Entity

Origin: space. A massive and unique lifeform, delicate in appearance while blindly and insatiably feeding off the life-force of beings and even planetary resources. It could destroy a world in just minutes with its pulverizing energy-beam conversion process, working much like an electromagentic collector. Somehow contacted by Data's brother Lore in 2338, it is known to have wiped out the Omicron Theta colony and its 114 scientists, then 11 more worlds ending with Melona IV until its destruction nearby in 2368. Ironically, just before its death it showed signs of sentience and understanding the different orders of life-energy it had been consuming.

That's the what. Now for the why. I haven't a clue. I want to have a place where I can babble on about all the things that I LOVE to talk about. It may give my family a break if I just spill some of it here.

What do I LOVE to talk about. I always love talking about my family, but I have another blog and facebook and real life to talk about them. I love to garden and I'm also developing a blog for that. So this place will be an outlet for all things nerdy. Because there is more nerdiness about me than I ever thought.

So maybe someone will read this, but even if it's just a writing exercise for me alone, I'm sure it will be awesome!